I really liked the way you captured the feeling in each haiku. The butterflies in drawers with static wings touched my heart. And silverfish creating flashes of light is pretty.
both of them nice -- the second one, though, gives me the creeps! I've seen those (silver fishes) before in some one's attack and it's amazing what they can destroy.
ooooh, these are good and the contrast is perfect. drawers of coloured dust creates such an appealing image...I could see myself pulling open the drawer in a long-vacant room with slanting sun rays full of dust...then the flash of a silverfish and the drawer slammed shut. well done!
Can't do much but echo what's already been said. I do feel sad for the butterfly -- as I've felt sad for others' writing of the trapped fireflies. But I'm no fan of the silverfish. (The creature, that is, your haiku is great.)
11 comments:
excellent! The butterfly one is sad! Silverfish are strange creatures, your haiku makes them mysterious.
Both are wonderful. I agree with crafty green poet's comments. Very evocative. Also, simply and directly worded.
I really liked the way you captured the feeling in each haiku. The butterflies in drawers with static wings touched my heart. And silverfish creating flashes of light is pretty.
i agree with what others said...
the butterfly haiku touches me somewhere deep and the silverfish one is intriguing
I'm impressed. I'm an ex-librarian, and even I thought the silverfish were intriguing.
Mind you, I still have no use for the blighters in a library.
I like these! Pared down to a few words, but totally effective.
both of them nice -- the second one, though, gives me the creeps! I've seen those (silver fishes) before in some one's attack and it's amazing what they can destroy.
love these terrific
john
ooooh, these are good and the contrast is perfect. drawers of coloured dust creates such an appealing image...I could see myself pulling open the drawer in a long-vacant room with slanting sun rays full of dust...then the flash of a silverfish and the drawer slammed shut. well done!
Can't do much but echo what's already been said. I do feel sad for the butterfly -- as I've felt sad for others' writing of the trapped fireflies. But I'm no fan of the silverfish. (The creature, that is, your haiku is great.)
i really enjoyed these-Silverfish are mysterious creatures. I never seem to understand why they keep coming back but my cats like them for a snack.
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