Wednesday 13 March 2013

grass


3 comments:

polona said...

the process of getting over does change the perspective...

Bill said...

An effective fusion of image, thought, feeling. In line 2, you might consider "a glimpse of grass." It would give you 8 syllables, but it would, I think, flow better. Of course, flow isn't the only consideration.

jem said...

You wouldn't believe how much I toyed with that phrase Bill - I decided in the end that 'glimpsed grass' sounded slightly awkward but gave the possibility of more than one glimpse. A hard call but good to know I'm chewing over the right bits!